Why Do We Do Things a Certain Way?
Have you ever wondered why you respond to life the way you do?
Why some things feel instinctively right or wrong, even when logic says otherwise?
Every decision, no matter how big or small, is rooted in the things that make you you. This is about understanding those forces: your subconscious and your habits, and how they quietly guide the direction of your life.
The Power of the Subconscious
Your subconscious is like the master program running silently in the background. It holds everything: your upbringing, trauma, instincts, habits, values, patterns, and even your fears.
You may not consciously remember every moment of your life, but your subconscious does.
It’s the reason you behave a certain way in unfamiliar situations. The reason something feels off, even when everything looks okay on the surface.
You’ve heard phrases like:
“Tap into your subconscious.”
“Look within.”
“Follow your instincts.”
And while they sound cliché, they’re real.
Your subconscious is always active, even when you think you’re stuck or confused. It’s pulling from everything you’ve lived through, quietly guiding your gut instincts. The real question is:
Are you listening?
We Are Creatures of Habit
Habits are the actionable side of the subconscious.
They’re patterns you’ve repeated so often that they’ve become automatic. From brushing your teeth to the way you react during conflict, those are all habits.
But habits aren’t just routines. They’re tools.
They give you structure. They anchor you in chaos. And most importantly, they’re changeable, unlike the subconscious, which takes longer to rewire.
If you want to:
- Be more emotionally stable
- Be a better partner or friend
- Make better decisions for your future
Then you need habits that align with the person you’re trying to become.
Habits help you build discipline even when life feels overwhelming. They’re your lifeline when you don’t feel like showing up.
The Habit–Decision Loop
Here’s how it all connects:
- A big decision comes up
- Your subconscious hints at what feels right
- You hesitate—“Can I really do this?”
- You break the decision into small steps
- You form habits to follow through
- The habits stick and reshape how you see yourself
- That new self-image gives you the courage to act
This is the loop that carries you from confusion to clarity—over and over again.
My Story: From Pilot to Developer
This all became real for me when I had to make a huge life decision:
Do I finish flight school, or do I start over?
I didn’t fall out of love with flying. In fact, I was all in. I kept pushing even when things got hard. Through the sleepless nights, the pressure, and the endless exams. I was fully committed.
But life had other plans.
Financial problems started piling up. The pandemic hit. Flight hours became harder to schedule, and the costs just kept rising. Slowly, the path that once felt possible started to close in on me.
Still, I hesitated. I had already invested so much: my time, my energy, and most of all, my dad’s money. Quitting felt like betrayal.
But even while I was trying to hold everything together, my subconscious was working behind the scenes. It wasn’t saying “you don’t belong here.”
It was saying “there might be another way.”
I didn’t make a sudden leap. I gave myself space to breathe and explore. That’s when I stumbled into coding, not through some grand plan, but through small sparks of curiosity.
I started watching tutorials. I built simple websites. I learned to code bit by bit. Every time I sat down to figure something out, I built a new habit.
And the more I showed up for those habits, the more I saw myself as someone who could do this.
Someone outside of my dad’s plan.
Someone building her own life.
Eventually, I enrolled in a coding bootcamp. I committed. And I never looked back.
Looking back, leaving flight school wasn’t just about quitting something. It was about trusting myself, building new habits, and having the guts to make my own decisions.
The Bottom Line
You don’t have to “figure it all out” in one day.
But you do need to listen to what your subconscious is telling you and build the habits to support that voice.
Because the more aligned your habits are with who you’re becoming, the easier it becomes to make the right decisions, even the hard ones.
So the next time you feel stuck, remember this:
Your subconscious already knows what’s right.
Habits are how you get there.